Friday, May 30, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - In the Depths of Cuckooland's Torture Chamber"

Dera the Torturer: Muahaha, welcome to Cuckooland's torture chamber. I will torture you all with no apparent reasons.

Tulis the Scribbler: Look what have you done! You stupid genius!

Pandai the Genius: Don't worry. If you have watched the Hidden Channel, you would have known that Cuckooland's torture chamber doesn't have any equipment to torture you!

Tulis the Scribbler: Phew, what a relief.

Dera the Torturer: Muahaha, we don't need equipment to torture you! Underlings, hold them still! I will begin my first round of torture!

Tulis the Scribbler: Gaa! Get off me! Gaa!

Pandai the Genius: #%@#%!#, didn't expect he has so many underlings that they can pin me down!

Dera the Torturer: The first torture is to eat sugar cane until you get carbohydrate poisoning! Muahaha!

(From dawn to dusk and dusk to dawn, Dera the Torturer's underlings keep feeding them with sugar cane. What a torture...)

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Holy Book of White Paper Part 2."

Pandai the Genius: Hey there, what are you doing?

Tulis the Scribbler: Go away! This is top secret!

Pandai the Genius: Look! There's Superman! (Snatch)

Pandai the Genius: Wow! The 3 Commandments of White Paper?

Tulis the Scribbler: Do not read! That is holy!!!

Pandai the Genius: One, thou shall never write your name on this book.

Tulis the Scribbler: ... (face getting extremely green)

Pandai the Genius: Two, thou shall be as empty as a piece of white paper. What does it mean?

Tulis the Scribbler: ...It is another way of saying "thou shall be an idiot!", you idiot!

Pandai the Genius: Oh, I see. Three, thou shall do any other things according to thy desires. Yes, this is what I call good commandments to follow. Good job, Tulis!

Tulis the Scribbler: Of course, I am...

(A sudden lightning struck and sent these two profaning idiots into the depths of Cuckooland's torture chamber...)

While Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet is wondering why his Holy Book has not been finished and delivered to him...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - The Holy Book of White Paper."

In the depths of the Swamps of Cuckooland, with characters borrowed from a friend.

Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet: The White Paper Worship Religion is going out of control. We must unite all the separate sects together.

Tulis the Scribbler: Since you got all the revelations about the truth of White Paper Worship, why not we scribble them all down and publish a book to guide them all?

Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet: I agree! Now listen to me, do as I command you to. (Whispers and whispers...)

Tulis the Scribbler: Yes, sir! I will do as you've told. The Holy Book of White Paper will be the top seller when I am done with it.

(With crayon and paper, Tulis the Scribbler scribbles day and night for the next 576 hours)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome again, to Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Today, our news are all about freaking White Paper Worshippers.

Yesterday, an annonymous follower of the White Paper Worship Religion got into a hospital because he bleached himself, hoping to be as white as a piece of Holy White Paper.

On a separate event, another zealot clothed herself so fully with white clothes that she left nothing exposed, not even her eyes. She kept bumping into things, especially walls. She also bumped in a few rugs who then whacked her into the hospital.

This news is a bit old but last week a few mummies were stolen from the Egypt's national museum. The prime suspects are the White Paper Worshippers as there is a sect preaching that the mummies are their links to eternal life as the mummies are wrapped in white. The Interpols are still investigating this case.

If you've been watching our news, you would've noticed that this edition is ultra white. This is because our board of directors converted to become White Paper Worshippers and they insist that we do our news in white. They were hoping that we put our font in white too but that will meant troubles for our readers. So we convinced them to still put it in black. Except for this next sentence: All hail the Holy White Papers!

Thank you for reading Prime Time Fun Flash. Good Night.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Off Balance."

Suram the Goth: ...(Studying like hell for the upcoming exam in the library)

Cinta the Clueless Lover: (Walks into the library)

Suram the Goth: (Lift head) Wow, what a cute and hardworking girl.

Cinta the Clueless Lover: (Draws out her laptop and immersed herself in her headphone)

Suram the Goth: (Kuru kuru) Aiya, must go washroom.

As Suram the Goth walks pass Cinta the Clueless Lover, he glances back to find out that she is actually enjoying a movie!

Suram the Goth: @##$^%^*!^%^*@#$^%$!!

Cinta the Clueless Lover: (With tears in her eyes) ...

Suram the Goth: @#$!%^@&^%&@$%@#$%@#$%!!!

Cinta the Clueless Lover: (Runs off crying like a fountain)

Suram the Goth: Why was I angry with her?

(Suram the Goth continues to go to the washroom, scratching his head...)

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome, thanks for watchhing Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Tonight's highlight:
A new device called Silencer has baffled scientist for its apparent capability to defy physics.

The religion of worshipping white papers is now the official religion of Cuckooland.

Details:
Silencer was created by a weird doctor from Cuckooland. Bunyi the Soundologist is famous for his radical treatment methods to common sickness, such as playing drums to cure headache and run according to the rhythm of a song to cure asthma. Bunyi's creation, the Silencer, is a device that could generate exact opposite soundwaves to nullify any sound. However, according to physicists, there's no way to nullify sound short of muffling it with resistance. So this device is a scientific breakthrough. With Silencer, you can mute your neighbour's annoying dog or that kid of yours who can't stop throwing tantrums. What a great device!

Next, we go to Cuckooland. White Paper Worship has been announced to be the official religion in Cuckooland yesterday. The officials just announced this morning that whoever found scribbling on any piece of White Paper in Cuckooland shall be hanged as that is desecration of the Holy White Paper. And because of this religion, all other laws have been abolished. That means it is now legal to rob, kill, rape and torture in Cuckooland. They don't care what you do anymore, as long as you uphold the holiness of White Papers as that is all they want to do now.

Interviewing one of the residence of Cuckooland, we found out the real reason for people's love of the religion.

News Crew: Hi, are you one of those knowledgeable of this White Paper Worship religion?

Pandai the Genius: Of course I am knowledgeable! I got direct revelation from the Holy White Paper that It must be worshipped!

News Crew: Wow! Then what is all this religion all about?

Pandai the Genius: This religion is all about being ignorant and stupid! The White Paper teaches that we should hold on to this mindset called the Tak Apa Mindset, which teaches us that nothing matters. We just have to be like the White Paper, totally empty of any content, knowledge or cause. We don't have to care at all!

News Crew: Sounds interesting. Then what do the followers have to do?

Pandai the Genius: What do you mean what the followers have to do? They can do whatever they like. It's got nothing to do with me and I don't care.

News Crew: You mean, there's no restriction at all?

Pandai the Genius: Heck, ya! Except for desecrating the Holy White Paper, do whatever you like.

News Crew: You mean I can assassinate all my enemies without being guilty if I join your religion?

Pandai the Genius: The Holy White Paper doesn't care if you are guilty or not. But remember that nothing stops those enemies of yours to join first to kill you.

News Crew: Heck, ya. I'm joining now and going to kill them all! KILL!!!

Wow, that looks like too good to be true, our news end here as I have to rush to join this White Paper Worship religion. So long, readers.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Silencer."

Jangka the Predictor: Argh!!! Gaa!!! Waa!!! Argh!!!

Bunyi the Soundologist: Do you know you are getting way too annoying?

Jangka the Predictor: Waa!!! Argh!!! Gaa!!! Argh!!! Waa!!!

Bunyi the Soundologist: Nah! Take this!

Jangka the Predictor: ...

Bunyi the Soundologist: Wahaha! This is my new invention, called the Silencer!

Jangka the Predictor: ...

Suram the Goth: It looks cool. How does it work?

Jangka the Predictor: ...

Bunyi the Soundologist: It detects movements in your mouth and then generates exactly the opposite sound waves. This totally nullifies all the sound that you try to make.

Jangka the Predictor: ...

Jangka the Predictor: (Trying to make a prediction.)

Jangka the Predictor: ...

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome, thanks for watching Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Let go to tonight's highlight:

Forest are being cleared faster than ever due to high demand for white papers.

Scientists discover a being that lived more than a thousand years.

Now, let's go into the details.
Due to the rise of the new religion of worshipping white papers, the demand for white paper skyrocketed. Loggers work harder than ever to supply for this demand, trying to earn a bucket. Reason for the rise of this very weird religion is still unknown. Our news crews have been diligently researching for the cause but they found nothing so far.

Scientist from all over the world flocked to Cuckooland today. They claimed to have discovered a being that lived more than a thousand years. Our effective crews successfully gotten an exclusive interview with this being. Here's the content:

News crew: Hello, what is your name?

Hantu the Ghost: My name is Hantu the Ghost.

News crew: Then, what are you?

Hantu the Ghost: Are you stupid! I'm a ghost!

News crew: Oh, ok. Then, how long have you been around here?

Hantu the Ghost: I can't remember for sure...but I remember that I witnessed the whole process of the rise and fall of Roman Empire...

News crew: Wow! That was more than one thousand years ago! What the &*@#%%!&@#)%! are you!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hantu the Ghost: Boo!

(News crew got heart attack...)

Oops, sorry, that shouldn't be broadcasted. Again thank you for reading, Prime Time Fun Flash. Until we meet again, good bye.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Idolatry."

Hantu the Ghost: Hey Pandai, what are you doing bowing over a piece of white paper?

Pandai the Genius: This, is the paper of Tak Apa Mindset! It contains the wisdom of all times! I worship it!

Jangka the Predictor: I foresee that Tak Apa Mindset will rule the world!

Hantu the Ghost & Suram the Goth: Wow! All hail Tak Apa Mindset!

Pandai the Genius: Muahaha!

In the meantime, Cinta the Clueless Lover is falling in love with a piece of black paper...

Friday, May 9, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Cannibalism?"

Jangka the Predictor: I predict that there will be a strain of human hair in your noodle.

Suram the Goth: Really? Let me search...

Jangka the Predictor: There, between that spinach and celery.

Suram the Goth: Wow, you are so accurate...(munch)....(munch)...

Jangka the Predictor: Gaa! Cannibalism!

Since then, Jangka the Predictor went on screaming nonstop...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Fun says, "My Comic - Sealing of the House."

Suram the Goth: What are you doing?

Pandai the Genius: Can't you see I'm sealing my house?

Suram the Goth: Why do you seal your house?

Pandai the Genius: To keep all people from intruding my property! That's why.

Suram the Goth: Why are you sealing it from the outside?

Pandai the Genius: Duh! These planks are ultra large, they can't get through the door. So I have to nail them outside.

Suram the Goth: Then how are you going to go inside after you are done?

Pandai the Genius: Hehe, you think I haven't thought of that? That's my camping gear there. I'm going to camp in my lawn.

Suram the Goth: Then...what's the purpose of owning a house to begin with?

Pandai the Genius: ( >_<" )

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Fun says, "Chicken and Egg Problems."

Chicken comes first or egg comes first? Without chicken, there won't be egg but without egg, there won't be chicken.

Money comes first or qualification comes first? Without money, you can't get qualification but without qualification, you can't get money.

Love comes first or sex comes first? No love then no sex (women say) but no sex then no love (men say). It's really a miracle how a man and a woman can come together as couple.

Health leaves first or happiness leaves first? Health is a cause for happiness but happiness causes good health.

Home comes first or wife comes first? Without a home, you can't get a wife but without a wife, you can't make a home.

Life's so paradoxical...

Sunday, May 4, 2008

范说"我看不起借口多多的人,我看不起自己."

我没时间。
我没空。
我不会。
我很笨。
我没能力。
我没你那么厉害。
我不知道。
我不适合。
我没兴趣。
我不喜欢。

以上全是借口!每从一人口中听到,我就会越来越看不起他!

但此话也会从我口中出来,所以我看不起自己...