Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Good day. This will be a brief news as our all famous country, Cuckooland, falls into turmoil.

For some unknown reason, Suram the Goth started to terrorize the nation, causing fear and chaos in the nation. Hantu the Ghost saw that it was fun and he joined in the turmoil early in the afternoon. People are dying out on the streets due heart attacks. Some poorer dudes froze into stones. Some even poorer Cuckoolanders demoleculized into arrays of atoms zooming randomly all over the country, trying to run away from the gothic terror of Suram the Goth and killing many more people in the process.

Due to serious fear of attack in the news center, our news shall end here See you again in the next session of Prime Time Fun Flash.

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash - World Superhero Day."

Good evening. Welcome to Prime Time Fun Flash where all the news are flashy and fun.

Today, being the World Superhero Day, we've sent out our crews all across the nation to interview famous people to know about their views on superheroes. But before that, let's have a brief introduction of this World Superhero Day.

World Superhero Day is a festive that falls randomly on any date from 1st January till 31st December every year. No one can predict it's coming. It is just suddenly there one day and the people just celebrate. And what do we celebrate? We celebrate the glory and stupidity of our superheroes such as those who are great in saving lives but do not know how to wear their clothes in proper order. And this gives us inspiration to be like them, glorious but stupid. In another word, NOTORIOUS!

Now, let's go to our crew and see what they've got.

News crew: Good evening! Here, we have a group of people from Cuckooland.

From background: (Loud cheers!!!)

News crew: Let's have a look at our pre-recorded interview on what these people want as their super power.

(Flash...)

Suram the Goth: I want the power to be able to freak the whole world out with my scariness. Muahaha!

(Flash...)

Pandai the Genius: I want the power to make people become stupider. (Sly smile)

(Flash...)

Hantu the Ghost: Power? I have too many powers. For Abu's sake, I am a ghost! Duh!

News crew: ><"

(Flash...)

Abang the Brother: I want the power to make all the people my siblings. Yippie, a hapyp world filled with love! But then, everyone will be doing incest! Yikes!

(Flash...)

Bunyi the Soundologist: I don't want super power. I just want that last key to solving my last hurdle to creating the cancer-treating music.

(Flash...)

Cinta the Clueless Lover: I want the power to make guys fall in love with me. I never had a relationship before...waaa...waaa (crying so loud that the earth shook)

(Flash...)

Gila the Crackpot: Well, of course I wanted the power to crack pots at one look. That's my hobby.

(And there it was, the lense of the camera cracked...)

(Flash...)

Underlings: We want the power to overthrow our ironfist torturer!!!

(Flash...)

Dera the Torturer: I want the power to torture!!! Torture!!! Muahaha!!!

(Flash...)

200 plus students: We just want to pass our exams.

(Flash...)

Tulis the Scribbler: I'd love to have the power to scribble everything I want in a blink.

(Flash...)

Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet: Powers? Haha, I am a prophet! What other powers are there that is greater than prophethood?

News crew: I don't know. Maybe there might be something else that you want.

Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet: *Gasp!!! I saw a black mass. Dark and travelling at high velocity. It brings imminent doom! Gaa!!! Too dark!!!

News crew: What are you talking about?

Pengutus the Cuckooed Prophet: It is falling! Death! Gaa!!!

(*Splat! There goes the news crew...)

(Flash...)

Oops. Sorry for that violent scene. That's all for today's Fun Flash. See you again, next random day. Good night.

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Good evening, welcome to Prime Time Fun Flash where all the news are written by a madman.

Today's highlight is in fact today's only news. Cuckooland is going cuckoo due to their lost of the greatest advisor, Pandai the Genius.

It has been days since the missing of Pandai the Genius who always provide solutions to the various issues in the country. Pandai the Genius seemed to have mysteriously disappeared from Cuckooland. With Pandai the Genius gone, the nation is now ruled by a menagerie of idiots, pigs, moles, bacterias and comic characters.

Laws and policies kept getting changed every other minute, making the people of Cuckooland unable to cope with the speed of the changes. In addition to that, the people of Cuckooland can't stop worshipping white papers. Their level of ignorance has reach maximum level that they actually think that the high-speed changes are good for them. One minute walking on legs are totally banned, the next minute everyone must hop and the next hand-walking is made the national way of travelling.

Such changes are getting way out of hand that we outsiders concluded that Cuckoolanders are really cuckooed. Yet, we love them so much. So, let's go to Cuckooland and be cuckoo like them!

Thank you for reading Prime Time Fun Flash! Don't forget to visit Cuckooland whenever you can.

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome again, to Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Today, our news are all about freaking White Paper Worshippers.

Yesterday, an annonymous follower of the White Paper Worship Religion got into a hospital because he bleached himself, hoping to be as white as a piece of Holy White Paper.

On a separate event, another zealot clothed herself so fully with white clothes that she left nothing exposed, not even her eyes. She kept bumping into things, especially walls. She also bumped in a few rugs who then whacked her into the hospital.

This news is a bit old but last week a few mummies were stolen from the Egypt's national museum. The prime suspects are the White Paper Worshippers as there is a sect preaching that the mummies are their links to eternal life as the mummies are wrapped in white. The Interpols are still investigating this case.

If you've been watching our news, you would've noticed that this edition is ultra white. This is because our board of directors converted to become White Paper Worshippers and they insist that we do our news in white. They were hoping that we put our font in white too but that will meant troubles for our readers. So we convinced them to still put it in black. Except for this next sentence: All hail the Holy White Papers!

Thank you for reading Prime Time Fun Flash. Good Night.

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome, thanks for watchhing Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Tonight's highlight:
A new device called Silencer has baffled scientist for its apparent capability to defy physics.

The religion of worshipping white papers is now the official religion of Cuckooland.

Details:
Silencer was created by a weird doctor from Cuckooland. Bunyi the Soundologist is famous for his radical treatment methods to common sickness, such as playing drums to cure headache and run according to the rhythm of a song to cure asthma. Bunyi's creation, the Silencer, is a device that could generate exact opposite soundwaves to nullify any sound. However, according to physicists, there's no way to nullify sound short of muffling it with resistance. So this device is a scientific breakthrough. With Silencer, you can mute your neighbour's annoying dog or that kid of yours who can't stop throwing tantrums. What a great device!

Next, we go to Cuckooland. White Paper Worship has been announced to be the official religion in Cuckooland yesterday. The officials just announced this morning that whoever found scribbling on any piece of White Paper in Cuckooland shall be hanged as that is desecration of the Holy White Paper. And because of this religion, all other laws have been abolished. That means it is now legal to rob, kill, rape and torture in Cuckooland. They don't care what you do anymore, as long as you uphold the holiness of White Papers as that is all they want to do now.

Interviewing one of the residence of Cuckooland, we found out the real reason for people's love of the religion.

News Crew: Hi, are you one of those knowledgeable of this White Paper Worship religion?

Pandai the Genius: Of course I am knowledgeable! I got direct revelation from the Holy White Paper that It must be worshipped!

News Crew: Wow! Then what is all this religion all about?

Pandai the Genius: This religion is all about being ignorant and stupid! The White Paper teaches that we should hold on to this mindset called the Tak Apa Mindset, which teaches us that nothing matters. We just have to be like the White Paper, totally empty of any content, knowledge or cause. We don't have to care at all!

News Crew: Sounds interesting. Then what do the followers have to do?

Pandai the Genius: What do you mean what the followers have to do? They can do whatever they like. It's got nothing to do with me and I don't care.

News Crew: You mean, there's no restriction at all?

Pandai the Genius: Heck, ya! Except for desecrating the Holy White Paper, do whatever you like.

News Crew: You mean I can assassinate all my enemies without being guilty if I join your religion?

Pandai the Genius: The Holy White Paper doesn't care if you are guilty or not. But remember that nothing stops those enemies of yours to join first to kill you.

News Crew: Heck, ya. I'm joining now and going to kill them all! KILL!!!

Wow, that looks like too good to be true, our news end here as I have to rush to join this White Paper Worship religion. So long, readers.

Fun says, "Prime Time Fun Flash."

Welcome, thanks for watching Prime Time Fun Flash, where all the news are funny.

Let go to tonight's highlight:

Forest are being cleared faster than ever due to high demand for white papers.

Scientists discover a being that lived more than a thousand years.

Now, let's go into the details.
Due to the rise of the new religion of worshipping white papers, the demand for white paper skyrocketed. Loggers work harder than ever to supply for this demand, trying to earn a bucket. Reason for the rise of this very weird religion is still unknown. Our news crews have been diligently researching for the cause but they found nothing so far.

Scientist from all over the world flocked to Cuckooland today. They claimed to have discovered a being that lived more than a thousand years. Our effective crews successfully gotten an exclusive interview with this being. Here's the content:

News crew: Hello, what is your name?

Hantu the Ghost: My name is Hantu the Ghost.

News crew: Then, what are you?

Hantu the Ghost: Are you stupid! I'm a ghost!

News crew: Oh, ok. Then, how long have you been around here?

Hantu the Ghost: I can't remember for sure...but I remember that I witnessed the whole process of the rise and fall of Roman Empire...

News crew: Wow! That was more than one thousand years ago! What the &*@#%%!&@#)%! are you!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hantu the Ghost: Boo!

(News crew got heart attack...)

Oops, sorry, that shouldn't be broadcasted. Again thank you for reading, Prime Time Fun Flash. Until we meet again, good bye.